Been "Busy"

Howdy everyone. I've been caught up with the flow of life and taking it a little too easy. I'll be working more diligently on writing.  I have a slew of new story ideas and i'll be expanding on them from this date going forward. Although I mostly post on my website, i'll be posting updates on here whenever I can. Thanks everyone!

Moving

Hello everyone! I'm working on moving everything over to my website and i plan on posting much more in the near future. My Website - Remnants Of Elements. Hey, if anyone has topics or suggestions of what you'd like to see a poem written on then head over to my website and leave a comment :). Also, I'd like to write a couple more short stories... But I need your help! I wrote the short story about Clark the Snail with only 3 guidelines. It had to include a snail, a bum and a pigeon. That's it. I came up with the rest and finished it in about 30 minutes. It was a fun one to write. Again, head over to my website and leave a comment and i'll see what i can do! My Website - Remnants Of Elements Or send me an E-mail at remnantsofelements@gmail.com

Old House (in progress)

Things go bump and creak as the old house speaks,

Not a soul stirs nor any excitement occurs,

Eidolons haunt the shadows and guards thy hallows,

Lonely phantom walks the halls sending voiceless calls,

Apparitions hunger for blood of the younger,

Specters and spooks call forth ethereal rebukes,

Nightmares and shade defend this hallowed grave,

Revenants and wraiths bar every escape,

Running and fleeing from an incorporeal being,

From faeries to banshees it’s plain to see,

I am the chase I am the found I am everywhere abound,

I am the bite and the bark I am ruler of the dark,

My eyes always finding and my tendrils always binding,

I creep and quiver making you weep and shiver,

What I find is mine and on your soul I dine,

A heart of gold so bold is easily sold,

A heart of hate so black and ornate,

A heart of old is tastier than a treasured soul,

A heart of fate slips  off my plate,

It’s your heart and laughter I’m after,

Tooth and nail fight me to no avail,

In the shade I reign over blood and brain,

My kin will thresh those of skin and flesh,

My minions  sow seeds of chaos and expand my dominion,

My visage nor voice you’ll never know by choice,

In the dark I rest hoping you’ll fail my test,

I won’t take you alive but always by surprise,

I go where I please... so be at ease…

A Death in the Family

I was asked to write this poem earlier this morning. My aunt's father passed away Sunday and this poem is for her. I hope she likes it.

Daughter’s Lament

You just left us and I already miss you,

Life just isn’t the same without you,

I know now this pain is real,

I’m still not sure how I feel,

You’ve been my hero since my birth,

It’s hard to believe you’ve left this Earth,

I wish you could hear what I have to say,

It’s never been so hard to keep my tears at bay,

Goodbye my father, goodbye my friend,

I’ll think of you always, til the very end…

Father’s Lament

I’ll always be with you, my little girl,

I’d never really leave my shining little pearl,

I miss you too but you have to stay behind,

The time we’ve spent together will never leave my mind,

I’ll always love you no matter what you do,

When the time comes I’ll be up here, waiting for you…

For Ellen

Old Bum, Clark and the Pigeon

"Clark... Clark... CLARK! Quick! Wake up bud! There she is... she's struttin' her stuff across the street in front of McDonald's again" Jebb said as he roused his buddy Clark the snail.
Clark's eye-stalks sprang out quick as molasses! "Where is sh- ooohhh!" Clark was lost in dreaming admiration for the glittering turd of his eye - the most beautiful pigeon in all of Maine; Dora'Luna. She had the most wondrous blood-red eyes and the most whimsical black with green flecked feather pattern anyone had ever seen. "She's... she's perfect isn't she Jebb?" Clark muttered.
Jebb leaned in close with his snaggle-toothed grin "Why dontcha go over there and introduce yourself, eh? Yer better off talkin' to 'er instead of sitting next to me sliming up a puddle oogling at little ole Dora'Luna".
 Clark retracted his right eye-stalk in protest. "I can't do it Jebb, you know that!" Clark's left eye-stalk drooped as he studied the slime puddle beneath him. "We're from completely different worlds... Me, sitting here next to a dirty old bum in a smelly alley next to Starbucks"       
“HEY!  Watch it slimeball!” Sneered Jebb.
"Me... And her; living it up across the street. Always having the best leftover fries and picking half-eaten chicken McNuggets out of balled-up wrappers in the trash. She's living the high life and I'm where I belong. Right here in this dirty, smelly alley next to my best friend; a dirty, smelly bum." Said Clark dejectedly.
"I should've smushed you long ago, you know that right?" Jebb sighed.
"I'm sorry Jebb, I just... I just can't live without her butI can't even talk to her." Clark frowned.
"Bud... You've got to talk to her and quit yer sniveling like a wee lass." Jebb laid back against the brick wall of the alley and stretched like an old coon cat. "What if I just call her over 'ere, eh Clark?"
Clark's eye-stalks shot out slicker than snot on a flag pole. "D-D-D-DON'T!" Clark stammered as he searched Jebb's eyes.
Jebb rolled his eyes, "Poor boy. Can't hide inside that shell your whole gad damned life can ye'? There's a whole world beyond this alley-way and I'm too old to take you everywhere ye' oughta go!"
Clark retracted into his safe place, inside his shell. "I'm scared Jebb. What if the world is mean to me? What if no one likes me? What is SHE won't even talk to me?"
Jebb looked down at his faithful friend, "What if I set you two up on a date? You know, a date? Maybe I can see if she's interested in meeting a good-mannered and polite snail friend, eh?"
Clark paced back and forth unsure of what to say. "Maybe... Maybe if you talked to her first, and maybe if she thought it was okay and not interrupting her scheduled or anything like that? Do you think she'd even want to see me? Jebb?"
Jebb stared up at the gutter hanging off the back of Border's lost in thought, "I'll wander over right now and see if she'll see you, my lad. I'm sure you two would get along better than a bunch of rabid raccoons and a jar of Skippy peanut butter!" Jebb scrambled to his feet and looked both ways before darting across the road in front of a milk truck, narrowly escaping with his life.
The thought of Dora'Luna being on him like a bunch of rabid raccoons both scared and excited Clark. He began to shake in his shell with dread and fear for all the what-if's whirling through his tiny head.
Clark watched with eye-stalks outstretched as he observed Jebb bent over talking with Dora'Luna. They seemed to be having a pleasant conversation and Jebb pointed across the road towards Clark and then they both looked. Clark retreated into his shell, afraid to look. Afraid she would judge him before she even meets him.
"Oh my, he's coming back already?! I hope she agreed to meet me, I hope she didn't say no, oh gosh! Oh gosh! Oh gosh!"
Jebb reached the sidewalk and frowned down at Clark.
Clark shrank back into his shell and feared the worst.
Jebb studied him a moment before his snaggle-toothed grin spread wide as ever. "Come now, boy. She'd like to see you now, for lunch by the back dumpster. Yessir, the dumpster next to the McDonald's playplace!" Jebb crouched to pick up his slimy friend and stroked his index finger over his shell to coax him out of his shell.
Clark began pouting, "I knew she would say no! Why did i ever get my hopes up! Why do I even-"
"Shush lad!" Jebb interjected."She wants to see you. She said she'd like to meet you right now and eat lunch with you" Jebb said in a hoarse, reassuring whisper as he started walking back across the road with his pal.
Clark's eye-stalks perked up, "Wha-? Really? Jebb? Jebb! You're the bestest best friend a poor little snail could ever ask for! What will I say?! What will I do?! Oh my, oh my, oh my I'm so unprepared! Jebb! Help! What do I say to her?! What do I do?!" Clark's eye-stalks were nearly touching the old man's nose as he screamed in panic at his old friend for dating advice.
Jebb just smiled and tilted his head down to look upon Clark with his good eye, "Clark, you need to hush up and be yourself and you'll be just fine, my lad. You've nothing to worry about. She's the nicest and prettiest pigeon I ever did see. I'll be across the road if you really need me, now go." Jebb set Clark down next to the dumpster next to the fabled McDonald's playplace and started back to the alley he calls home.
Clark peered out from his shell with one eye-stalk then the other, slowly surveying his surroundings. "Where is she?" Clark wondered.
"Hey there handsome" A voice cooed from behind and above Clark.
Clark turned to see the most beautiful blood-red eyes and the green flecked pattern upon the one and only Dora'Luna's coal-black feathered neck. "D-D-Dora' L-L-L Dora'Luna! Dora'Luna, you probably don't know me but I've wanted to see you for such a long time but I've always been too scared!" Clark exclaimed in his uncontrollable high-pitched voice.
Dora'Luna giggled softly and smiled at Clark, "I see you there in the alley between Starbucks and Borders watching me".
Clark's eye-stalks looked up at Dora'Luna, "I-I'm sorry if I scared you or said something I shouldn't, I Just -"
"Are you hungry there, handsome?" Dora'Luna interjected. "You don't have to worry, I think you're really nice. Besides... I come here every day hoping you'd come over and see me." Dora'Luna winked down at Clark.
Clark thought of rabid raccoons and the jar of Skippy peanut butter again...
For the sake of the readers (also my time constraints) the story ends here.

Death In The Family

      A family member of a co-worker died late last week and i was asked to write a poem for her. She was very close to this particular person and misses him very much. I had never met the guy but i did some quick research and he was indeed a great man. He was a god-fearing man who dedicated his life to his family and this country. I read his obituary and he definitely lived a full and rewarding life. I wrote this poem to help out my co-worker and give her something to hold onto. Her whole family is very Christian so i had to dip into that world to make this relevant to her. I hope she likes it.

It’s hard to believe your hourglass is out of sand,

I didn’t want to accept it but now I understand,

Although I miss you, I’m glad your pain has ended,

Your soul lives free in the stars as God intended,

You’ve seen war and you’ve seen strife,

Above all you chose to celebrate life,

All good things must come to an end,

Whoever believes this never had you for a friend,

I remember all the times we’ve spent together,

If I had it my way you would have lived forever,

Lately I close my eyes and see your face,

I sleep better knowing you’re in a better place,

It’ll be a long while til I can see you again,

Until then I bow my head and say Amen.

Eskimo, God and Hawaii

*BZZZT* *BZZZZZT* BZZZT*

“Yes, Margaret?” God sighed into the speaker of the white plastic prayer phone.

“God, dear, you have a call from your  Inuit people on St. Paul’s Island off the coast of Alaska…again.” Margaret sighed heavily into the speaker.

God buries his face in his palm and mutters through his fingers, “Patch them in Margaret.”

A high pitched voice came on the speaker, “Haaayy… Is this God I’m speaking to now?”

God closed his eyes and forced his breath out through his nostrils slowly, “Yes… What seems to be the problem, Jeffie.”

Jeffie squealed with delight at hearing his own name, “I just looo-uh –UVIT when you say my name like that. God, it’s so cold here my scrumptious little nippies are chipping during daily aerobics! Buh-LEEVE me when I say it is so hard to strut my stuff sweating to the oldies with my boy Richard Simmons when I have to keep applying chapstick to my nippies!”

God shook his head in utter disappointment, “Jeffie, you need to quit abusing your power. Just because you’re the leader down there doesn’t mean you can call me with EVERY trivial thing you can think of. You can’t keep wasting my time! I keep giving you everything you want and nothing seems to be good enough.” God paused and looked out the window of his office at the incoming plane landing at St. Paul Island Airport. “Jeffie, what did you want exactly?”

Jeffie piped up in a low voice, “I’m sorry God… I just wish… I just wish it was nice and warm here. I’d love to lie out on the beach with the boys and work on my man-tan. If I tried that right now I’d freeze my poor little willy clear off and there’s no fun in that!”

God grunted into the phone, “First you all wanted to win the lottery and I made it so; granted, you had to share the pot and each only won about fifty cents in the long run but still… Ya’ll wanted to be surrounded by big strong men and I made it so.”

Jeffie smiled to himself and a chill ran up his spine.

“Most of you weren’t very happy about that. It’s like I can do no right!” God exclaimed in frustration. “Then you all wanted nice fancy cars and I made it so. Half the island dies in car crashes because every inch of land is covered in snow and ice! And some idiot tried to drive across the god damned frozen ocean and hit a seal! I’m in hot water with Mother Nature for that! How am I supposed to explain a friggin Eskimo driving a convertible across the flipping ocean?!”

Jeffie pleaded, ”But, God, please? Just this one last prayer? We all want it to be sunny and 75 degrees all year round!” Jeffie said excitedly.

God balled up his fists in anger, “Alright! You all want it nice and hot year round, right?! You’ll all get your last wish now BEGONE!!! God beamed with rage and threw his hands up in the air.

Jeffie squealed with delight and quickly hung up the phone to tell the rest of his people the good news.

God slammed the phone down and stormed off to the front desk to speak with his wife, Margaret.

Margaret saw God storming down the corridor, an aura of darkness emanating from him. “Hoooney? Is everything okay?” Margaret said questioningly.

God stopped abruptly at his wife’s and looked down on her with fire in his eyes.

Margaret looked up at him, “Do you need a drink of water or you headed out for a smoke?”

God closed his eyes and balls up his fists, “No, Margaret, I don’t need a drink…” God gritted his teeth. “I need a vacation. I need to get away from everything. If that whiney little Eskimo calls again you tell him I’m NOT here!” God threw up his hands and stormed off to the prayer room to make his people’s prayer a reality.

God studied his Globe of Power, trying to decide where to move the ice cold weather and where to take the warm weather from. Equal and opposite exchange still in effect, it’s not like he can just make it happen with a flick of the wrist.

God muttered to himself, “Hrmm… Australia has some pretty screwed up and scary animals I’m not really fond of and great weather to boot… Maybe they could use the cold weather for a while…”

Margaret entered the room abruptly, “So where are we going on our vacation? I hope it’s better than our honeymoon in Canada, dear. Beavers are simply terrifying creatures with those huge buck-teeth and nasty rubber tire looking tails. Disgusting!”

God looked over his shoulder at Margaret, “Margaret, if you don’t shut the hell up I’ll bury you.” God turned back to the Globe of Power.

“Well, at least you could bury me somewhere nice and warm. Without any beavers and Canadians running around!” Margaret screeched.

God growled low in his throat and placed his hands on the Globe of Power. Left hand on St. Paul Island and the other over Australia and slowly dragged his hands to the opposite locations on the globes. “It’s done, the annoying little fruit and his people will be happy now.” God sighed.

*ERRR* *ERRRRR* *ERRR*

God slunk down into his chair and hid his face in his hands. Squishing his face together so his lips stuck out between his fingers he muttered to himself, “I’m done… I don’t even care what the emergency is now. Margaret, get our things, we’re leaving. Now”

“But what about your people? They need your help. You’re their God!” Margaret protested.

God shuffled to his feet, “Margaret, if you’re not in the station wagon in 10 minutes I’m leaving without you.”

Margaret let out a worried whine, “Oooh no, this is bad, very very bad!” As she hurried off to gather their things.

God changed out of his white robe and into his blue Hawaiian shirt with the green parrot across the front and his red surf shorts. God thought to himself then started sputtering aloud, “Bah, I was never good at this damned job anyways! I'm under appreciated and the benefits aren’t even worth the trouble! Getting paid in kindness and faith, BAH! Try buying a damned burrito with a bag full of faith! I might as well be farting confetti and shooting glitter from my penis for Christ’s sake!”

Margaret packed her bags and was loading God’s satchel (man purse) into the back of the old rusted brown station wagon.

“Come on dear, we’re going to be late!”  She yelled into the log cabin.

God pushed the front doors open swearing under his breath, “I’m coming ya damned harlot, just give me 30 damned seconds. I’ll bury you on the damned moon…”

Margaret called back, “Quit your humbugging and let’s go!”
Grumbling, God plops into the driver's seat and drives off to the St. Paul Airport.
"What's going to happen to your people while you're on vacation? Margaret asked worriedly.
"Hell if i know Margaret." God says matter-of-factly. "I gave them everything they ever wanted and all they do is bitch, bitch, bitch."
"God! Language!" Margaret interjected.
"I'll watch my own damned language!" God growled. "Now get in the plane, we're leaving". 
Margaret and God carried their luggage from the parking lot straight onto the runway and begin to load the plane.
"Where's the pilot anyways, honey?" Margaret asked.
"I'm a God, I'm flying the blasted plane. You don't get elected to run a group of dirty brown snow people without knowing a thing or two." God answered
Margaret shook her head, "Oh boy, this is NOT good. Don't crash into one of those lava volcanoes dear."
God buried his head in one hand, "Of course not, I'll aim for one of the Jell-O filled volcanoes..." God muttered in a low growl, "I'll bury you in a damned volcano..."
"Don't get lippy with me, buster!" Margaret scowled.
"Button your lip and get in." God retorted.
"You never told me where we're going." Margaret said in a nasally whine. "I hope it's somewhere sunny and warm! I want to lie on the sand and let the water lap my pretty little toes!"
God threw up a little in his mouth, "Please don't mention those stanky Vienna Sausages or I'll crash right into a mountain to get the image out of my head." God said disgustedly.
"Be nice!" Margaret bellowed.
"Buckle up creampuff, time to go!" God announced. He slapped on a set of 1940's pilot's goggles and took off down the runway. "We're going to Hawaii. We'll be landing at Keahole-Kona International Airport in a couple hours. Until then, watch the clouds and give me some peace and quiet."
God and his wife weaved through the clouds on their way to a much needed vacation in the sunny and warm Hawaii.
"Are we there yet?" Margaret asked in her usual nasally whine. "Honey, honey, honey, hooonnnneeeeyyyy...? Are we almost there? Dear? Are you even listening to me?"
"SHUT UP HARPY!!! I'LL CRASH RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN!!! I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO YOUR CROSSWORD I WILL TAKE US TO A SWIFT AND SCREAMING WATERY DEATH!!! DON'T ASK BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?! WE WILL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE!! FUCKING HELL I'M GOING TO BURY YOU ON THE FORSAKEN SUN!!! God yelled in a raging fit.
Margaret chimed in, "Well, I don't see a reason to get all grumpy. I was just asking a question. No need to turn into the Grinch for no rea-"
"MARGARET I WILL END YOU!!! God Bellowed. "YOU'VE BEEN ASKING THE SAME STUPID QUESTIONS FOR 6 STROKE-INDUCING HOURS NOW SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE WHOREBEAST!!!" God screamed.
"Ooh look! I see smoke!" Margaret squealed as she pointed out the volcano in the distance.
God stared down at the lovely Hawaii and wonders to himself if he should aim for the runway or do himself a favor and fly full-speed into the nearest volcano. Reluctantly he steers towards the airport.

God helps Margaret unload the plane and he notices he has goosebumps. "What the hell?" God frowned and studied the goosebumps on his arms and legs. 
"Hooonnneeeeyyyy, why is it so colllld??" Margaret whined.
"Hell if I know, Margaret..." God replied with a defeated sigh. "I'll ask the guy in charge, i suppose." God pulled out his Faith phone and kept pressing buttons to no avail. "Of course...this piece of shit never has any service. More faith and kindness bullshit. Wish i had a Nokia..."
"Hon, I'll call your brother in Australia and see if he knows what's happened here, okay? Margaret began to call God's brother.
"Oh, Hell..." God muttered.
"Uh huh... Okay... Yeah, he's here. Would you like to speak to him? Okay I'll give him the phone" Margaret replied.
God was leaning against the plane with his forehead in his hands, he held out a hand to receive the phone and slowly brought it to his ear. "Really? Really? You don't say..." God chuckles in response . "Oh yeah... I didn't think of that... alright. What's done is done i guess. Yeah, thanks. See ya Beels" God hung up the phone and slid it into his pocket.
"What happened? Why is it so cold here? Is everything alright in Australia? What's happening? Why aren't you telling meeee?! Margaret whined.
God turned to Margaret, "All my people are gone. The extreme change in climate melted everything and they all drowned. I borrowed the good weather from Australia but in-turn my brother's people nearly froze to death..."
Margaret gasped.
"To keep his own people alive and happy, my brother Beels took the good weather from Hawaii for his people in Australia." God said.
"Ohh my!" Margaret exclaimed. "What are you going to do now? What are we going to do? I don't want to freeze my kankles off here when we're supposed to be on vacation!"
God smiled, "We're going home. It's now an island paradise with full sun and the best fishing around!" God beamed. God's head snapped up, "That also means... No more annoying Eskimo's! Hot damn Margaret, I could almost stomach kissing you! God exclaimed.
Margaret runs to God and hugs him tight and leans in to kiss him. 
God plants his hand on her forehead and flings her back, "I said ALMOST ya damned wildebeest".
Margaret and God hug like they never had before, finally at peace.